![]() ![]() It raises the question: Will they get back? There’s a dry humor here, partially because we know by now the characters definitely don’t have any good luck. Isn’t it cool how her voice comes across so strongly we don’t even need her name spelled out to know she’s speaking? “We’ll meet you back here as soon as possible, but stay safe. What’s his deal? (This is a very Leo thing to wish and Leo had not been acting like himself in the chapter before.)Ĭlosing Paragraph: “Fine,” she decided.There’s a good chance Leo could invent a time machine. Opening Line: “Leo wished he could invent a time machine.”Īgain, this works because it’s a cliche that could be literal. Her description is concise, blunt, specific and wry. Two hundred feet long, with a bronze-plated hull, mounted repeating crossbows fore and aft, a flaming metal dragon for a figurehead, and two rotating ballistae amidships that could fire explosive bolts powerful enough to blast through concrete… well, it wasn’t the most appropriate ride for a meet-and-greet with the neighbors. The Argo II definitely did not look friendly. She’s second-guessing herself, and starts to analyze the ship as she tries to determine what the Romans are going to think. With that little phrase, the reader gets a sense of her attitude: She’s fully aware of how crazy this is and is not expecting the best results, but she has thought the whole thing out.ĭuring the description of the Argo II on page 2, Annabeth’s way of describing the ship is far different from Leo’s (below). She clarifies it to add emphasis to how unstable their approach to New Rome is–and how entirely up in the air their reception will be (ha ha, pun). To Annabeth, it’s obvious what the white flag represents. The quotes around “we come in peace” acts both as clarification for the young adult and middle grade readers and a dry observation by Annabeth. She confirmed that the white “We come in peace” flag was flying from the mast. A lot of words clue this off in the first page: Prepared, checking/double-checking, confirmed, reviewed the plan, backup plan/backup plan for the backup plan, important, the last thing, order.Īnnabeth also has a distinctly wry voice–weirdly, something I never really picked up on until analyzing this excerpt. This scene particularly highlights this characteristic because of the setting: They’re about to land in a “potentially hostile Roman camp” (can you hear her planning even in that phrase?). Again I’m left with a question: Will the team (and the town) survive?Īnnabeth is constantly planning and prioritizing. The last line is humorous and, in retrospect, ironic and foreshadowing. The statue–a potential threat–is obviously reluctant, which builds suspension. You may climb down your ladder to New Rome, daughter of Athena. What happened before the statue exploded?Ĭlosing Line/Paragraph: Terminus (the exploding statue) sniffed.How was she prepared? What was she preparing for?.Why is it exploding? Where is it exploding?.In this case, here are some questions that sprang to my mind: Notice that he says “met”–which immediately clues the reader into the fact that the exploding statue is apparently alive.Īll of Riordan’s opening lines come with some questions, which act as hooks. Here, the cliche “prepared for anything” is made amusing by the craziness of meeting an exploding statue. One thing Riordan loves to do is turn cliches on their head. Opening Line: “Until she met the exploding statue, Annabeth thought she was prepared for anything.” Writing tips below the cut! I’ve taken the first chapter containing each character’s narration and analyzed the heck out of it. She probably didn’t expect me to go through all four points of view with multicolor pens and margin notes. Since I kept talking about character voice and the beginnings/endings of chapters, she recommended I have a look at the book and think about ways Riordan wrote these elements, so that I might glean something for my own novel. After consuming the Mark of Athena in a matter of days, I approached my writing professor to rave about my reading experience.
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